Silence and survival,

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 12:52:14 +0000

by Hyshyama Hamin-Buckman

Women in Nepalese society find themselves in queer circumstances. On one hand women are revered and worshipped as Goddesses, on the other hand they are exploited as subordinates. A woman's life is only considered of value if she is ‘the daughter of' ‘sister of' and ‘wife of' a male member of her family. The situation worsens when a woman becomes a widow. She is unable to return to her maternal home, because society tends to look down upon women who do so and she is no longer welcome in her marital home either. A widow is portrayed as having ‘ill luck' and an obstacle in the way of her in-laws in getting her share of the property (if any at all). The practice of child marriage is still persistant in many parts of rural Nepal. If a young woman has left her education to get married, then when she is widowed she neither has the required knowledge or skill to sustain a livlihood. Conflict has added to the existant backdrop of patriarcy and reinforced the subordination of all women. Conflict has provided the excuse for women, especially those without male support, to be harassed, abused and even raped without repercussions.

Also on widowhood and violence: Ancila Adrian Paul's blog entryConflict has fueled a internal migration of people into much of the urban areas of Nepal, like Kathmandu city. These women who either come alone, or with their children seeking a better livelihood are quickly pushed into the murky corners of city life. Unable to sustain basic necessities such as food, clothing and housing, they resolve to working in the informal sector more out of the lack of choice for employment and due to inadequate education and skills. Informal employment includes low paid daily wage labourers, workers in cabin restaraunts and dance bars and as sex workers. There have been emerging reports in popular development magazines that many of the sex workers in Kathmandu are women who have lost their husbands. These women are ready to do anything just to survive. Some women work as laborers during the day and are forced to do prostitution by night, mostly doing sexual favors for bus drivers for as little as Rs 10. In dance bars and cabin restaraunts, women are highly vulnerable to harassment, abuse and rape.

Hyshyama Hamin-Buckman is a Sri lankan born Development Studies student in Nepal, also working for an NGO called Women for Human Rights, single women group (WHR). The NGO is dedicated towards the issues of widows rights and envisions a just and equitable society towards widows and all women.There is a culture of silence surrounding rape in Nepalese society, and women who work in "unethical" places are blamed entirely for such incidents. Single women especially have no urge to disclose abuse or rape. The judicial and legal system is unfriendly towards women who choose to report incidents and the laws pertaining to sexual abuse of all forms, has a long road to being condusive towards women victims.

Widows choosing to stay in their marital homes too have little protection. There have been many cases of widows being sexually assulted and abused by their own family members mostly brother-in laws and father in-laws. Due to silence and shame surrounding such events, in many instances she chooses to bear up and remain passive. The situation is very different if she has her own share of property or was financially independent.Women tend to have more say over decisions made on her behalf, whatever they might be. It is for this reason that families are highly reluctant to provide a widow her share of her husbands property (if any). Some of the conservative traditional and religious practices also tend to add to the injustices towards women. Changes are happening in some pockets of social life, brought about by human rights NGO's and women's groups. However, it is too slow for the many women who are exploited daily, while earning a living and within their homes.

Unless vulnerable women are given more livlihood opprtunities like education and skill training and protective social security schemes, they will fall prey to ‘easy money' promises in the informal employment sector. Unless laws pertaining to all forms of harassment, assult and abuse are strictly implemented and the legal system can be reformed as being more victim friendly, the silence will continue. The silence will rob many women of their right to a normal life, of being able to earn a decent living and return home without fear. Till then each incident of abuse, harassment and rape that occurs will be another dark mark on individual, community, country and world that remained silent as well.

Picure: via phitar's flickR account

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Silence and survival,