Time Passing Through My Hair

Lew Poo Chan 19 February 2003
Subjects:
About the author
Lew Poo Chan is better known by her pen name, Dan Ying, under which she has published poetry to great acclaim since 1966, when her first collection, Farewell, A Long Farewell, was published in Taiwan. She has won numerous literary prizes, including the National Book Development Council of Singapore (NBDCS) Book Award for Poems of Taiji, and for Time Passing Through My Hair. Her work has also appeared in many anthologies, and she is currently lecturer at the National University of Singapore.

发上岁月

染发心情和落日心情
莫不与岁月相关
前者尤为复杂
太阳，无可抉择
必须依时坠落
头发，可染，可不染
跟岁月抗衡，染
不染乃认命的诠释

当夕阳回光反照
全力向天边浮云
喷吐一口美丽的鲜血
胸怀，最是怅恨难遣

一头水亮青丝，转瞬
被轻霜白雪覆盖，情怀
又该是怎样的呢？
是不是心惊之后
是心悸？心悸之后
是心痛年华似水
倥忽舍我远去？

所以中年以后
除非落发，却绝尘缘
否则怎敢以斑驳的容貌
迎接你炯炯的眼神
纵使你仍多情宠惜
我又岂能朝暮忍受
揽镜时的哀怜与怔忡？

再三耽廷，反复思量
最后决定一觉醒来
将满头班班岁月
染成飞扬的青春
蒙骗天下所有的菱镜
日，落抑或不落
从此与我无关

Time Passing Through My Hair

How I feel about dyeing hair and watching sunsets
both have to do with how I feel about time passing
The former is particularly intricate
The sun has no choice
must go down on time
Hair can be dyed, or not dyed
To fight against time, dye it
Or don’t dye it – just accept fate

Last radiance, the setting sun sprays
beautiful blood with all its might
over floating clouds in the sky
My heart, filled with pity and grief

My shining black hair, suddenly
covered with light frost and snow
How should I feel?
Frightened, then
Fearful? then
Sad – hastily discarded, left far behind
by youth?

So in middle age, unless I
shaved my head of all worldly worry
Dare I let my mottled appearance
greet your bright piercing eyes?
Affectionate and loving though you remain
Could I face in my mirror my sorrow and fear
every morning, every night?

Ponder and delay, delay and ponder
I decide at last to wake
and dye my greying age
into a soaring youthful colour
to deceive all the mirrors in this world…
The sun, setting or not
will concern me no more

It is said that once hair is dyed, its quality changes and there are other side-effects as well. Therefore, for a long time I dared not risk dyeing my hair. Nonetheless most of my friends at my age had beautifully dyed black hair and I envied them very much. After considerable hesitation, I finally decided to have my hair dyed – in exchange for temporary youth.

Translated by Ho Chee Lick, and with thanks to Tom McGrenery for writing up the Chinese


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