Jon Bright (London, OK): The Telegraph has this cheap but irresistible story - the Church of England has produced a good marriage guide, entitled "Growing Together," aimed at enabling their vicars to give more astute marriage advice. It includes a mundane and predictable list of 10 "commandments" for a "perfect" marriage (how else could a a religion advise but by decree?), including open communications, frankness about sexual preference and joint bank accounts. It is aimed at reducing the number of divorces in Britain, of which there are apparently around 150,000 a year.
The only marriage really on show here is that of the uneasy coupling between the "Church of England" and contemporary times. Forced to defend marriage as an abstract practice, assumed worthwhile in itself, the questions becomes extremely functional: how can the Church continue to retain some control over what it means to be in a relationship, when so many of the ones they've previously sold have broken down? Why would I, as an empowered, modern day consumer, want to choose a CoE brand marriage? Deeper questions about whether and when "marriage" becomes a good idea, and whether divorce must imply some sort of "failure," are ignored, and all the sex is deployed as an eye catching way of masking the commercial superficiality of the logic.
At least, I suppose, they are able to throw in arresting anecdotes like this one:
The book uses a real case to highlight the naivety of some couples: "Kevin and Mandy had been married 18 months and were worried that they had not conceived a child. It turned out that they had never had full intercourse."
These, I can agree, are people who need help. But are the CoE's commandments the right medicine?
