“The moment you leave your children behind, half of you is back home and half of you is here. You are thinking about the children all the time – especially if they are young”, says Livia*, a lesbian from Uganda and mother of three children. She is currently seeking asylum in Germany. Like Livia, many women applying for their asylum based on their sexual orientation have children that are the result of previous relationships and heterosexual marriages. Most lesbians claiming asylum in Europe have married to either hide their sexual orientation or because they were forced into a formalised, heterosexual union.
The Munich-based, lesbian support group LeTRa, which offers social and legal support to 180 lesbian-identifying women from, primarily, Sub-Saharan Africa, reports that about 78% of their client base are mothers. Only a few were able to afford the high visa and transportation costs for bringing their children with them when they came. Most had no choice but to travel alone, leaving their children in the care of relatives, LGBTQI+ allies and, in some rare cases, their biological father. The separation can last for years as the women slowly try make their way through the asylum process.
Many will never succeed in bringing their children to Germany. LeTRa reports that lesbian mothers are at high risk of being rejected for refugee protection because case officers find their motherhood irreconcilable with their sexual orientation. According to German asylum law, family reunion is only possible after having been granted refugee or subsidiary protection status and before the children turn 18. And, even if reunification is granted, to bring children to Germany is time-consuming and costly. The expenses include a mandatory DNA test to prove a blood relationship, visa fees, and travel. Since most lesbian refugee women do not have enough savings to cover these expenses, they face a great deal of uncertainty around when or if they will see their children again.
