In 2011, I spent six months working in Rwanda with a local NGO. Through my work, I witnessed traumatic events that affected me deeply and for which I was not adequately prepared. For months after I returned to the United States, I would see amputations that weren’t there and break down in tears over insignificant things and at inappropriate times. I had never cried in Rwanda, and I was surprised by how emotional I was. Because I was new to field and unprepared for the mental health impacts of working with such difficult issues, I didn’t realize that I was just processing the emotional trauma of my work in Kigali. Today, the mental health impacts of my current work are less intense, usually manifesting in waves of fatigue or the inability to focus. Now, as then, I sometimes get frustrated with myself, wondering what is wrong with me or why I am struggling.
Mental health challenges are common among human rights workers.
I often feel alone in these moments. I feel as though I am suffering individually, and that my struggles and weaknesses are unique. I have to proactively remind myself that this perception is, in fact, false. Mental health challenges are common among human rights workers. We face high levels of both acute and chronic stress. We also tend to exhibit character traits such as perfectionism, which make it difficult to recognize and admit that we have a problem, and we are often too worried about stigma to get help. That worry unfortunately seems to be well-placed, as there are often cultural and professional repercussions for speaking up. For example, rights workers know that if they admit that they are struggling, the organization may simply pull them out of the field. There is such stigma around mental health that we can feel isolated and weak for experiencing mental health challenges, and it can be hard to get help.
