White people find my halo of gravity-defying hair irresistible to the touch. I don’t mind as long as they ask before they cop a feel, but they usually don’t. So after years of enduring this over-familiarity from everyone from the stranger behind me in the checkout lane to a middle-aged male dental hygienist, I came up with a strategy.
Now when that unbidden White hand starts creeping toward my head, mine starts creeping toward theirs. I go as far as they go. They usually flinch back, and then resignedly lean into my touch, laughing with recognition as their faux pas - their micro-aggression - sinks in. I laugh along with them - because let’s keep it light, right? - and with a little thrill of victory. Teachable moment, for the win!
Unfortunately, unsanctioned hair touching is the only micro-aggression that I have an effective, emotionally non-burdensome response for. I’m not the only one with such a limited repertoire. I tried tapping my social network to see how other people effectively dealt with micro-aggressive interactions and got precisely zero feedback - though, admittedly, just tweeting about them seems to work for some people.
