Mike Small (Fife, Bella Caledonia): Kenny Richey, the man released after 20 years on death row, has returned to Edinburgh to try and rebuild his life. To help him settle back in, here's a guide to what he's missed since he's been away...
1988 was a big time for Belinda Carlisle, who's big hair and bigger shoulder pads helped propel ‘Heaven is a Place on Earth' to number one in the charts. Almost as memorable was the Claim of Right, launched in Edinburgh in July 1988 by cross-party groups who hoped to unite Scottish opinion into a demand for a Scottish Assembly or Parliament. It read:
We, gathered as the Scottish Constitutional Convention, do hereby acknowledge the sovereign right of the Scottish people to determine the form of Government best suited to their needs...our actions and deliberations shall be directed to the following ends: To agree a scheme for an Assembly or Parliament for Scotland; To mobilise Scottish opinion and ensure the approval of the Scottish people for that scheme; and To assert the right of the Scottish people to secure implementation of that scheme
Incredibly, it worked. Who'd have thought it? 20 years later we have our own parliament. Since then, in fact, we've gone from the SNP being the only party not involved in constitutional discussions, to the Unionist parties discussing everything except the one thing 40% of the population back: independence.
Those aren't the only changes. Since you've been gone the Lager Lovelies were banished from cans of Tennent's Lager (in 1991), Marathon became Snickers (in 1990 - though is the Marathon name about to make a comeback?), and Berti Vogs led the national team to the depths of FIFA rankings (number 67 in 2004), below Burkina Faso. His first match was a gaulling (sorry) 5 - 0 thrashing by France. Don't worry, we beat them every time we play them now. Seriously. Meanwhile (like a lot of clubs around the UK), Hearts are now being run by a foreign banker, who sacked the manager when they were top of the league and appointed a registered sex offender in his place. Seriously.
Some tunes for your iPod (its like a wee Walkman) to fill in for Belinda: Belle & Sebastian, The Bluebells, Edwyn Collins, Del Amitri, Franz Ferdinand, Texas, the Fratellis and The Proclaimers (two guys from Auchtermuchty that sing songs about Hibs and sell out massive venues wherever they play). There's some good stuff you missed, though you should be thankful you'll never know who Rhona Cameron was and haven't been subjected to Harry Potter. You've missed Trainspotting, and you'll not know who Ian Rankin is either.
You also might not recognise many of the politicians. When you went to jail Tory grandee George Younger ("4th Viscount Younger of Leckie") was Secretaty of State for Scotland. Since then we've had Malcom Rifkind (who scuttled down to a safe Tory seat in England after being rejected by the revolutionaries of Pentlands constituency), then Ian Lang (1990-1995) - who lost his seat in 1997 along with Michael Portillo, William Waldergrave and seven other cabinet ministers (which was fun). Then came Michael Forsyth. Michael was Secretary of State for Scotland from 1995 to 1997, during which time he led a high profile but ultimately doomed campaign against the opposition parties' plans for devolution. His twin campaign of railing against the ‘Tartan Tax' and offering baubles (the Stone of Destiny) failed utterly.
For First Minister we've not really fared much better: there's been more changes of personnel than in Taggart. ‘The Gannet' (Donald Dewar) was competent but hardly inspiring. He was followed by Labour functionaries Henry McLeish and Jack McConnell. The SNP's Jim Sillars may have won the 1988 Govan by-election, but the 90s were no rose garden for the Nationalists as Tony Blair (be thankful you missed him as well) swept to power on a wave of optimism in 1997. But earlier last year, as Tony tide finally went out, we got our first SNP government. That's right - the Nats now run Scotland. Welcome back.
