Jon Bright (London, OK): On page 16 of Today's Telegraph, sitting somewhat smugly out of place in the 'News' section, Gordon Brown outlines why he supports "a museum of British history" and why he is founding an "Institute of Britishness" (I'm sorry Gordon - I think you'll find those are 'Views'). "Everywhere I go round the world I find men and women asking questions about Britain's history of achievement" he beams, a fascinating insight into the sort of people he meets (though I suppose, thinking about it, that is the kind of grovelling small talk I'd make if I was ever introduced to a visiting head of state).
Brown's Britishness agenda is multifaceted. It has included, so far, lifting restrictions on flying the national flag, creating a new national motto and now this institute (it has also involved studiously avoiding using the word "England", as Gareth Young has argued consistently below). A "statement of British values" is what awaits us all at the end, to be combined, perhaps, with a new sense of constitutional patriotism. Lest we forget, 2007 is the 300th anniversary of the act of Union and the creation of Britain. You would be forgiven for forgetting: it's hard to imagine such a year passing so quietly in almost any other country in the world (what do you think the USA will be like in 2076?). If Brown has his way then the 400th anniversary won't be anywhere near as downbeat.
Reading this article, I was reminded of the time I was living in La Paz, some years ago now, being taught Spanish by an eccentric trilby wearing professor called Alfonso. One of many vivid memories is of my first lesson with said teacher, who enjoyed talking in stereotype: "British people," he said, "love el humor negro" (black humour). Of course we do. We enjoy cynicism, sarcasm, laughing when things go wrong. It combines with a tendency to eschew self-aggrandising, self-important statements of who we are that Brown seems to have taken to (as Cameron has been only too happy to point out). We're just a bit of a sceptical bunch - it's one of the things I like most about Britain.
"El humor negro", he continued, "y asessinos seriales" (if my Spanish stands up): serial killers. Britain, Alfonso felt, has a special historical connection to serial killing - boasting as we do one of the world's most famous serial killers (Jack the Ripper - who is also one of the earliest perhaps?), and of course the one who killed the most (Harold Shipman). Bolivia, by contrast, has a fairly pathetic record in the killing for the sake of it department - something he seemed slightly ashamed of (I declined to mention that this pair of murderers actually sit, by birth, in England's 'history of achievement').
The point of this anecdote, if there is one, is that we may not even be aware, let alone be able to control, what the word 'Britain' stands for, and it might be slightly risible to try. There may come a politician who is so 'in touch' with the 'British nation' that he is genuinely able to articulate meaningfully a positive version of Britishness that isn't met with our famous cynicism. I don't think Brown is that man. And however much he bangs on about a 'history of freedom' or sets up navel gazing national institutes, there will always be at least one person in the world to whom the Union Jack represents a tendency towards psychopathic behaviour combined with a certain knack for avoiding police detection. This is something that makes the part of me that likes black humour very happy indeed.
