Before 31-year-old Kyoko Takahashi (a pseudonym) got married, she and her fiancé never discussed which surname they would use. Even as they discussed the many other aspects of the future they were planning together, the burden she would subsequently take on by changing her last name was never on the agenda.
Takahashi has now been married to her husband for two years and she still feels awkward using his last name. She says she is frustrated that she had to give up a part of her identity, simply because she’s a woman. “I’ve always questioned why only women are expected to change their last name,” she told me. “I feel a strong connection to my maiden name, so I still use it professionally.”
Her experience isn’t unique. In Japan, couples who marry are legally required to choose either the husband or wife’s surname, as stipulated in Article 750 of the Civil Code, and nearly all choose the husband’s surname. A man who wishes to support his wife’s desire to keep her surname must defy convention and social pressure – something that few seem prepared to do.
