Sick, mad and oppressed

Five years ago, I suffered a rude awakening. Five years ago, I realised my life would never be the same again. I was compiling a report for BBC Radio 4 on what the British public really thought of Muslim women, especially those who wore headscarves. So, using a forgiveable subterfuge, I sent a couple of suitably attired Asian teenagers ahead of me, and then asked passers-by what their impressions of them were.

Most of the responses were, frankly, unrepeatable. The remainder, tended to be a variation on the theme of: “Sick, mad and oppressed”.

These reactions disturbed me in a way that I found difficult to deal with. My own, cultural identity, as a Muslim woman, was being trashed, not at a rally of the BNP, or in the columns of the right-wing press, but by ordinary folk, chosen at random on a busy thoroughfare. And I’d grown up in this country, totally unaware of the extent of the bigotry and prejudice against Muslims. Five years on, and post September 11th, those prejudices have calcified and our lives will never be the same again.

Yet Britain claims to be a liberal western democracy. No longer an exclusively Christian society but a secular one, where freedom of expression, or freedom to follow different lifestyle choices, is the new credo. But for whom? And on what on terms?

There’s extremism on both sides. When it comes to Muslims and Islam, the old, deep-rooted, cultural shibboleths and suspicions die hard, whether on the streets, or in the media. It seems as if people in the West, can only see my faith at best through the clothes we freely choose to wear, at worst as airborne purveyors of violent death and destruction.

It could be argued that our own society is dominated by what you might call Western fundamentalists, who influence and dominate the perceptions of mainstream British society. Yet no one seems to question, whether these intolerant liberals are reflecting reality, or their own prejudices.

Western fundamentalism manifests itself as an all-pervasive arrogance, which deems western civilisation to be superior in all its forms, from its historical, economic and scientific ascendancy, to its moral values.

And while western fundamentalists talk about freedom of expression and tolerance, they’re only tolerant of other cultures when they reflect their own values. When they don’t, as is often the case with Islam, they’re not backwards in expressing their contempt and prejudice towards it. There’s also a lack of will to understand and respect different belief systems. Modern Britain has failed to take on board the needs of minority communities, and in particular, the needs of the faith communities.

Surely modernity should be about co-existence and justice; a dialogue between different civilisations; a desire to understand and respect each other’s differences, whether at home, or internationally; and more importantly, to treat each other as we would wish to be treated ourselves.

This is one of the cornerstones of Islam. In the Qu’ran, God tells all human beings, “O people! We have formed you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another” (49: 13) - not to conquer, convert, subjugate, revile or slaughter but to reach out toward others, with intelligence and understanding.

Secularism claims that all people are equal. But are they really? Why is it that modern society considers it acceptable for a woman to bare all, in the name of ‘freedom of expression’ but objects, if a Muslim woman wishes to cover up?

And why is it that civilised Western society can only see Muslim women in terms of their appearance? There seems to be a distinct refusal to look at the contribution of these women to modernity, or the role Islam plays in their lives.

People often claim that Muslim women’s voices go unheard. They’ve always been there. But the media prefers to portray Muslim women as oppressed traditional homemakers. Many - like myself, are not. Even if we go back to the earliest times, we find that the wife of our holy Prophet was a businesswoman, who was fifteen years’ his senior. She even proposed to him!

Don’t get me wrong. I welcome the achievements of the feminist movement. I am what you might call a Muslim feminist. I want my God given rights and boy, do I fight for them! The right to work, the freedom to choose how I live my life, equality under the law and freedom of worship. And I find it rather ironic that Muslim women are able to exercise these Islamic rights in Britain but not in so-called Muslim countries!

As a religious scholar visiting Britain from Egypt once observed: ‘Although there were not many Muslims in Britain, I found a great deal of Islam being practised there’. That’s because the fundamental principles of Islam are peace, justice, freedom, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness and the sanctity of life – qualities that we value highly in this country and qualities which are the essence of my faith.

I believe women have gained a great deal from modernity. But it’s not all good news. I feel there have been some major losses along the way. Whilst women have won the right to work, they still end up doing most of the housework and the childcare too. In the workplace, they don’t get the recognition they deserve, because despite anti-discrimination legislation, most women still don’t receive the same levels of pay as their male counterparts. And the glass ceiling will remain unbreachable for most women.

Even more worryingly, women in today’s society seem to be judged by their attractiveness and sexiness. They are often relegated to objects of sexual desire; constantly under pressure to dress in provocative ways and to conform to a certain shape and size. Personally, I would prefer a return to Rubenesque ideals of beauty but somehow I can’t see that happening!

We may joke, but there is a more serious side to this. The increase in eating disorders, such as anorexia and bulimia amongst young girls, the loss of innocence far too young and the worship of youth and beauty above all else. Plastic surgery, once a bastion of the super rich and Hollywood has become commonplace. We don’t seem to value the wisdom and experience of the elderly anymore. We forget that one day, we will also have to tread that same path.

We seem to have become self-centred, selfish even. Pursuing our individual desires and freedoms, without responsibility, and above the collective needs of society.

A few months ago, I was asked to participate in a TV discussion programme about the sex industry. During the show, I pointed out that sexual businesses had been found to increase the rate of sexual crimes against women, by as much as 500% in the surrounding areas. When I asked one of the lap-dancers whether she was concerned about the risk she was creating for other innocent women going about their daily business, she replied: ‘Oh, I’m safe because I wait fifteen minutes after closing time and then I get a taxi home!’

Women argue that men should simply control themselves, no matter how sexually provocative women are. But how easily can you stop a bush fire, once it starts? And if you stuck a child in a sweet shop, undid all the wrappers and then said - ‘Oh, and don’t touch!’ - how long do you think it would take before that child gave in?

I believe that there’s a distinct link between the over-sexualisation of women and the rising level of sex crimes. Women have to start acting more responsibly.

Another loss of modernity is the downsizing of the role of the mother. Women who stay at home, frequently refer to themselves as ‘just a housewife’. But they’re doing the most important job in the world - raising the next generation.

Islam venerates the role of the mother. In the eyes of God, she’s rated three times higher than a father. Muslims are taught that Heaven lies beneath our mother’s feet. In other words, you can win the world but if you don’t respect and please your mother, all your good deeds count for nothing and you won’t attain Paradise.

The role of the extended family seems to have diminished in modern society. I believe children benefit from close links with relatives and especially from the elderly. Islam places a great deal of importance on family ties because they form the building blocks of society.

Islam also recognises that men and women have different, complementary qualities and instincts. This makes each gender better at certain roles. It doesn’t mean that one is better than the other. And the Qu’ran makes it quite clear, that men and women have an equal standing before God.

Consequently, Islam gives certain duties and responsibilities to each sex. Men have been given the economic role as breadwinner. That’s not to say women can’t work. I do. But it means that it’s my husband’s responsibility to provide for me and my family. Any money that I earn is mine to spend as I wish. And any money he earns is also mine to spend as I wish! Of course I can help him if I want but God will count it as a gift of charity and I’ll receive extra rewards.

To conclude, I believe women have gained a great deal from modernity. However, we need to redress some of our priorities. We need to realise, that freedom, without responsibility, has high costs for society. We need to review the concept that there are no rights and wrongs, only choices. There have to boundaries and limits to protect the common good and we should have the courage to speak out against wrong-doing, even if it makes us unpopular.

As a Muslim, I welcome the tenets of liberalism and freedom of expression. It’s great to be able to debate issues and have meaningful dialogue. In fact, the first universities were created by the Muslims in Spain and people came from all over Europe to study and exchange ideas there.

Today, the world is becoming an increasingly smaller place, with different civilisations interacting in ways never known before. There are new problems, which need to be solved together if they are to have any chance of success. One of those challenges, is the establishment of freedom and justice for all. We also need to learn to co-exist and debate with each other. Muslims, and in particular, Muslim women, need to be part of that process, for the sake of all our futures.