Jon Bright (London, OK): The BBC reports today that Hazel Blears is proposing councils issue "welcome packs" to migrants, which will contain advice on British "customs" to help newcomers integrate into Britain. The packs will contain advice on our much lauded commitment to shared values (yes, this post does effectively write itself). The Beeb claims this jarring shopping list of bland, ridiculous pointers will be made required reading:
Don't drink and drive
Don't drop litter
Put bins out for collection on the correct day
Make sure children attend school
Get a licence before you go fishing
Don't touch people without their permission
Respect the law
Avoid spitting in the street
Don't play music loudly
If this is accurate, it appears that new entrants to our country are going to be welcomed with the news that British values amount to a shared respect for the law, proper licences for fishermen, and zero tolerance on bins put out on the incorrect day - and also that we are extremely uptight when it comes to the idea of being touched. Our opinion of them - alcoholic criminals who love loud music and can't stop spitting everywhere - also seems to come through nicely. Will this allow them to blend in calmly into their new environment? Or will it make them question the sanity of the people who are now their neighbours? Either way, I find the idea that immigrants, or anyone else for that matter, might be committing crimes because no-one told them they were supposed to respect the law more than a little amusing.
