Jon Bright (London, OK): From this week's backbencher:
Sometimes you need to set up a thinktank in a hurry - perhaps to provide a convenient repository for some cash when a bank account seems inadequate. Feeling a bit incompetent? Don't worry! The Backbencher can help you create a plausible centre-left organisation in minutes. Don't believe her? Try it!
First, pick your name. Wonkland has favoured the single-noun title in recent years - Compass, Demos - but we advise something a bit less memorable. The word "progressive" invariably goes down well. "Policies" is another safe one. Where would a thinktank be without them? And she recommends the term "Forum", with its hint of classical democracy and open-minded debate. Sorted!
Next, you'll need a publication. No need to actually write anything! Just pick a season and a year when you'll publish the report and announce a "call for witnesses". Do it convincingly and all sorts of people will send you ideas! Coming up with the title needn't be a headache, either. Just use the patented Automatic Think-Tank Theme Generator:
Simply choose from:
Reclaiming / Rethinking / Renewing / The new politics of
THEN ADD:
identity / public services / climate change / inclusion / exclusion / diplomacy / Britishness / migration
AND THEN FINISH WITH:
in the 21st century/ for a new decade / for a fourth term
That's it. No one will look twice - especially not the Electoral Commission! Buy yourself valuable time to get your finances in order. But watch out: if you're not careful, Labour conference organisers will be in touch trying to flog you a stall next autumn. Be prepared for that eventuality by explaining that your thinktank is an "online-only presence". Good luck!
