Sebők experienced dysphoria from an early age. Her childhood was crippled by loneliness, which led to depression, panic attacks and inferiority complexes. When she tried to discuss her sexual orientation with her father, he beat her. Neither her family nor teachers would help her.
In the past ten years, things have got a bit better for Sebők: she has a partner and works for a company where she feels accepted and supported. But she still feels Hungary is moving backwards.
“I do not think there will be a change for the better until Fidesz leaves government,” she explained. “They need an enemy, and we are just too weak to strike back.
“Actually, I believe [Hungary is] moving towards a Russian model, with more discrimination ahead.”
In December 2020, months after transgender people were banned from changing their name on official documents, the government effectively banned same-sex couples from adopting. Previously, it had been possible to do so if a single father or mother applied for adoption on their own, but now doing so requires the approval of the minister of family affairs. The country’s constitution was also amended to include the sentence: “The mother is a woman, the father is a man.”
Then, last summer, the government passed the laws on which the referendum was later held; banning the ‘portrayal’ of LGBTIQ people and what it called the ‘promotion’ of homosexuality to children under 18, creating an almost impossible situation for media and publishing. This led to loud criticism from the international community and triggered legal action from the European Commission, which is ongoing.
Despite the government’s crusade against the LGBTIQ community, Dombos said the majority of the Hungarian society is tolerant. “But there is a homophobic minority, which now feels encouraged by the government media to attack gay people.”
Recently, Háttér Társaság has received reports of a lesbian couple being attacked with eggs, a man being threatened with a knife on a bus in a homophobic attack, and verbal attacks taking place in the streets.
“The numbers [of attacks] are definitely growing,” said Dombos.
Deepening misinformation
Neither Szabó nor Dombos has been subject to attacks. They feel lucky.
“I was born in a very tolerant family, I had no problems at the university or at places where I worked,” said Dombos. “I live in Budapest. But I’m sure in smaller settlements where there is less information, people can face more discrimination.”
Though Szabó is from another generation, she said she also has not faced open discrimination. Before the democratic transition, she explained, homosexuality was a taboo, but it was more or less tolerated – people just did not speak much about it.
Sebők has worse experiences – she has felt regularly discriminated against and humiliated in the Hungarian healthcare sector, mostly by doctors.
Szabó, Dombos and Sebők all agree that, despite the unsuccessful referendum, the recent anti-LGBTIQ legislation will lead to less information about their community, more misinformation, and a striking lack of support for younger generations.
Organisations that could previously offer help and guidance to teenagers have effectively been banned from schools, while teachers are increasingly scared of addressing LGBTIQ issues, which the law entrusts to parents alone.
Yet as Sebők’s case proves, not all teenagers can turn to their parents for support. In fact, research from 2017 found that 44% of Hungarians would be ashamed to have LGBTIQ people in their families. Of the European countries surveyed, this was the third highest rate, after Russia and Lithuania.
Many in Hungary still believe that just discussing homosexuality is enough to make children or teenagers question their sexual orientation. As such, Dombos said, “the government would like to keep people in the darkness and ignore these issues”.
But Sebők believes the reality is even worse: “This regime wants to keep people uninformed so that it can manipulate them.”
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