I am, frankly, a bit of a killjoy around most holidays. This is partly a result of the trauma of my Christian nationalist upbringing. Religious trauma makes Christmas and Easter somewhat fraught for me, to the point that being fully present and able to enjoy even strictly secular celebrations and the ‘festive’ atmosphere is difficult.
I’m also unable to set aside my discomfort with the colonialist elements of certain holiday traditions – particularly those associated with Thanksgiving – and/or the rampant consumerism associated with holidays such as Christmas and Valentine’s Day.
America being America, the consumerist spectacle here is probably particularly gauche compared to most countries, and that undoubtedly colours the way I think and feel about holidays. Christmas is by far the worst offender here, with spending on Christmas dwarfing spending on Valentine’s Day. But for most of my life, I have low-key resented Valentine’s Day – at first, because I’ve rarely been partnered up to celebrate it.
