Iraq: the new England?

Crowning glory

It’s a funny thing, democracy.

On the weekend, in what has been described as the “first major post-war political step”, the inaugural session was held of Iraq’s new interim governing council.

In the words of L Paul Bremer 3rd, Washington’s man in a suit and desert boots, the Governing Council of Iraq, “represents all the strands from Iraq’s complicated social structure – Shi’a, Sunni, Arabs, Kurds, men and women, Christians and Turcoman.”

Pluralism in action.

After haggling quite successfully with Bremer and John Sawers (Britain’s man in linen), this diverse bunch (what Thomas Friedman calls “the most representative leadership Iraq has ever had”) has burdened itself with several executive powers – according to Kurdish leader Jalal Talabani, “the council has a lot of authority, appointing ministers, diplomats, budgets, security.”

In the words of Shi’a cleric Sayyed al-Uloum: “Looking at the challenges of today, we believe the most important priority of the council is to direct all of its efforts to achieving security and stability in the country, revitalising the national economy, and providing public services.”

Is that all?

Actually, every decision of the Governing Council can be vetoed by the US-led Coalition Provisional Authority – albeit in what Bremer calls “exceptional circumstances”.

Still, Bremer talks of getting “real political responsibility in the hands of a representative group of Iraqis.” The Council is charged with establishing procedures to write Iraq’s new constitution. Once hammered out, the constitution will be put to a nationwide referendum. Once ratified, “elections can be held and a sovereign Iraqi government will come into being.”

The Council has also agreed to set up a war crimes tribunal, so, if you’re reading this, watch out Saddam.

Sceptics, as their name suggests, are not so excited. In the words of the BBC: “After so much talk of liberation, a council handpicked by the coalition was not what was expected.”

Optimists, as their name suggests, see some positive signs. The Council has already agreed to send a delegation to the United Nations Security Council – irony of ironies. The US, it seems, has finally done something to please Kofi Annan.

Anyway, the first act of the Council, on Sunday, was to abolish all the old state holidays – all of which honoured this Saddam guy. A new national holiday was announced to “thunderous applause”: 9 April, the day allied forces entered Baghdad and Saddam went ‘absent without official leave’.

However, on Monday, Iraqis chose to ignore the order and stage a holiday of their own. It was 14 July, the day in 1958 that the monarchy was overthrown. Celebrations were unstoppable.

According to a report in the New York Times, “the occasion seemed less a rally than a raucous celebration of free speech itself.”

And who was most vocal in the free-speech parade? Answer: the Iraqi Communist Party.

You can almost hear the head-slapping “D’ohs!” in Washington.

The Commies were banned under Saddam, but now they’re back in force, with red banners, shovels, and chants of “Our party will not die, it will live on for eternity. Let’s go forward in peace.”

Nevertheless, this does not seem to signal the beginning to a new cold war (sorry, folks!). The NYT asked Faleh Kadhin, a Communist Party member, what his party stood for. “We want a market economy,” he said.

The Third Way in action!

“The whole world has changed,” Kadhin acknowledged. His comrades agreed. “We are working to empower the private sector,” said a loony-left taxi driver.

Meanwhile, a few blocks away, a different gathering took place. The Constitutional Monarchist Party held a public funeral for King Faisal II, the reigning Hashemite monarch who was shot along with his family in 1958.

The NYT asked Faisal Qaragholi, a member of the Monarchist party, what an Iraqi monarchy would look like. “It would be like England,” he said. “The king would be a symbol of unity, and the prime minister would run the country.”

Oh no, not again!

(Sources: New York Times, International Herald Tribune, Boston Globe, Associated Press, Financial Times, BBC News, The Economist)

Olive branch oil?

Over the border, in Iran, the US has more to grumble about.

The “axis-of-evil” member made “one of the largest oilfield discoveries in the world” this week (Financial Times).

In oil-speak, large means 38 billion barrels of oil.

Iran currently has 90 billion barrels of oil reserves.

As the stand-off with the US over its nuclear programme continues, Iran can look to prevent Washington from successfully isolating its enemy.

By any chance, can we expect to see the contracts go to French oil companies?

Probably, but in the meantime, the Diary might have chanced upon a conspiracy...

A line in the Financial Times story on the subject reads as so: “Ironically, US president George W. Bush’s attacks on Iran as part of the “axis of evil” could work in oil companies’ favour.”

Oil barons of the world, unite?

Two contracts are up for grabs in Iraq, worth a measly $1billion in total. Dick Cheney’s beloved Halliburton may have some competition this time.

However, as a Halliburton spokeswoman recently reminded us: “The vice president has nothing to do with the awarding of contracts.”

In other words – if the contracts go to Halliburton again, don’t blame Dick.

Khoms-trick

As the oil gushes, the Iranian mullahs are busy trying to locate the “enemies of the country” who accuse the supreme leaders of running a corrupt oligarchy in the name of Allah.

Surely not!

The latest rumour is that Ayatollah Ali Khameinei receives 20% of profits from all car sales in Iran – call it a religious tax, or Khoms, or a giant con.

Khameini has taken the “unusual step” (BBC) of denying the story. He has also ordered the intelligence ministry to hunt down those behind the rumours, so they can be prosecuted Ayatollah-style.

New religion

And so to Europe.

The beautiful Spanish city of Granada hosted the ‘Islam in Europe’ conference this week, a gathering of about 2,000 Muslims.

Attendees were celebrating the first official opening of a Mosque in Spain for more than five hundred years.

The keynote speaker was Umar Ibrahim Vadillo, boss of Murabitoun, the global Muslim movement.

His message was simple: capitalism is the new religion, and must be thwarted to make way for the true religion – Islam.

Time to stop using dollars, euros, pounds and what-not, and return to the trading of gold dinars, said Vadillo.

Do this, and (the unsustainable system of) capitalism will collapse. The 1929 Wall Street Crash will seem like a picnic in comparison.

Muslims around the world will then, finally, be able to unite, under one currency.

What, like the Europeans?

Blonde Bombshell

Speaking of whom ...

Last week’s Diaryfocused on the various fall-outs from the “offensive buffoonery” of Silvio Berlusconi and (tourist minister par excellence) Stefano Stefani.

Time for an update.

Stefani, who stereotyped the Germans as hyper-nationalistic blonde beach hoggers whose cultural peak can be found in burping contests, resigned his post this week, thereby hoping to save the Italian tourist industry.

But just when you thought the show was over, Martin Schulz, the socialist German MEP who so offended Berlusconi (and vice versa), reappeared centre stage, calling the Italian government “racist”.

As the Diary went to press, Berlusconi had not responded.

Polls suggest that 66% of Germans back Chancellor Schröder’s decision to cancel his holiday to Italy.

Such is politics that Stefani’s remarks seem to have rejuvenated Schröder’s flagging popularity.

As Dubya’ll tell ya, multilateral diplomacy will get you nowhere with the voters. A foreign policy built on petty backstabbing and insult trading is an electoral winner.

Schröder, of course, is a canny opportunist. His electoral success last year relied almost completely on opposing the prospect of a US invasion of Iraq and the floods that devastated his country.

Now, by being insulted by Italy, Gertie seems to have hit the popular note again.

Even Bild, Germany’s biggest selling newspaper, is supporting him.

The opposition Christian Democratic Union (CDU) is not happy. Wolfgang Schäuble called Schröder’s reaction “completely over-the-top, fatuous, and artfully agitated.”

As all this sophisticated politicking goes on, the BBC reports that Germany is launching a series of campaigns designed to sex-up its image abroad.

The Goethe Institute is charged with re-branding the nation for the 21st century.

The German ambassador to London wants to shake off the Nazi image, which he feels is damaging for tourism.

The plan is to refocus attention away from the Holocaust and onto the Berlin Love Parade, Claudia Schiffer, Jürgen Klinsmann, and Boris Becker.

Says Goethe Institute Chairman Ulrich Sacker, “We’ve got to start emphasising current aspects of German life which are ignored – like the hedonism of the Love Parade.”

Barbara Malchow of the Paris branch of the operation, is trying to entice the French by emphasising the “more exotic and erotic aspects” of the Paris-Berlin axis.

It gets more ridiculous.

One cultural official is quoted by the BBC as saying, “Poland’s going to be a difficult one. We’re going to have to work out whether the funny and sexy attitude of these other campaigns is appropriate there.”

Yes, good luck with that one.

(Also see Michael Naumann’s column “Blonde Beasts: the political meaning of anti-German prejudice”)

Quotes of the week

“I have thought for some months that if the North Koreans moved toward processing, then we are on a path toward war.”
Former US defense secretary William Perry in the Washington Post. Could there be war this year? Click here to read article.

“We will not offer any incentives or inducements for North Korea to stop something they should never have started in the first place.”
Richard Boucher, US State Department spokesman.

“I think I get darn good intelligence.”
President George W. Bush.

“When I gave the speech the line was relevant.”
President George W. Bush on the inclusion in his State of the Union address of a claim that Iraq had tried to buy uranium from Africa.

“I believe in him. If the briefer doesn’t believe, I don’t know how you can survive that room.”
Outgoing White House spokesman Ari Fleischer on his boss George W. Bush.

“Kenyans, along with other Africans, would be forgiven for asking: What was that all about?”
An editorial on Bush’s tour of Africa in Kenya’s Daily Nation newspaper. See more at BBC Monitoring.

“The parents should be pulled through the streets and their heads should be chopped off.”
Yoshitada Konoike, Japan’s state minister for deregulation zones and disaster management, on a pending case of a teenager who stands accused of killing a young child. Read more Japanese gaffes.

“People are getting fed up. They are looking more towards their own needs, towards parochial interests. And they are saying: “We elected you, now deliver.””
Flourishing democracy in Pakistan and India as described by Sherry Rehman, liberal Pakistani legislator

“I am excited by the possibility of sending a message across the border. I want this relationship to grow more between people than between political groups.”
Dr. Devi Shetty, an Indian heart specialist and Chairman of the Bangalore hospital, who performed a successful heart operation on Pakistani toddler Noor Fatima. Read more of this encouraging story.

“God saw that it was good and Jesus says, love thy neighbour as thyself, yet too many of the cars, trucks and SUVs that are made are polluting our air.”
An advert favouring a ban on Sports Utility Vehicles (SUVs) in California. A bill is already in motion.

“A certain decorum should have been observed from which popular entertainers are not exempt.”
Frank Scaturro of the Grant Monument Association. Pop diva Beyonce Knowles stands accused of having danced in a “patently inappropriate” way on the tomb of US President Ulysses S. Grant in a recent televised concert.

Contact the Diary editor: Dominic.Hilton@openDemocracy.net