Cooking up trouble

Everything is relative

What effect will the bombings in Bombay on Monday 25 August have on Indo-Pakistan relations?

Well, as with most things in life, it depends who you read and what you watch.

Initial reports suggest restraint on India’s part. Terrorist strikes usually spark a chorus of anti-Pakistan rhetoric in India, and the world starts predicting nuclear confrontation.

In other words, we’ve been here before. We’ll be here again.

The attacks in Bombay, otherwise known as Mumbai, are believed to have been carried out by the banned Students Islamic Movement of India, working with Lashkar-e-Taiba, the Pakistani terrorist group.

It was therefore of great note that Lal Krishna Advani, India’s hawkish deputy prime minister, stopped short of pointing the finger directly at Pakistan. The Financial Times called Advani’s response “relatively subdued” and “relatively muted”.

“We must await the findings of a full police investigation,” Advani said, to some people’s surprise.

The attacks come at a time of warmer Indo-Pakistan relations. The Indian prime minister, Atal Behari Vajpayee, has embarked on his so-called “third and final” bid for peace with Pakistan. As the Diary has previously noted, also not to be underestimated is the symbolic importance of Noor Fatima, a Pakistani toddler who was brought to Bangalore, India for heart surgery, and appears to have done wonders for people-to-people relations.

Pakistan said it deplored the “wanton targeting of civilians” in Bombay. One theory doing the rounds is that the attacks were revenge for last year’s riots in Gujarat, in which 2,000 Muslims died (See article by openDemocracy’s New Delhi editor, Rajeev Bhargava). The blasts happened in areas of the city with large Gujarati populations.

There is a lot of talk these days about the divide between “the people” and “the politicians and extremists”. More so than normal, that is.

The ruling Hindu nationalist BJP called for the dismissal of the Maharashtra government (of which Bombay is capital), which is run by the opposition Congress party. Security was non-existent, said Pramod Mahajan, general-secretary of the BJP. Analysts are encouraged by the decision to blame the opposition rather than Pakistan or India’s Muslim minority.

But Advani was not impressed with the “mere formality” of Pakistan’s condemnation of the attack. If you are really so concerned, Advani told Islamabad, then hand over the nineteen people wanted for previous attacks – “Only then can we believe what they said... when they condemned the attacks”. No chance, said Pakistan, there are no such criminals being harboured by us.

By Advani’s reckoning, Pakistan has been waging a “war of terrorism” on India for decades, of which this attack is just the latest blow. However, as he was saying so, Indian and Pakistani officials were set to meet in Rawalpindi, Pakistan to discuss the resumption of air links, severed after the attack on India’s parliament in December 2001. The Delhi-Lahore bus service was restored in recent weeks.

The BBC believes that “The sense – at this stage at least – is of two governments that do not want to throw away the investment they have made in recent months”.

(Sources: Financial Times, Times of India, BBC, The Economist)

Below freezing

“The response is coming in Tel Aviv, Jaffa, Haifa and Jerusalem.”

This was the chilling warning of Hamas leader Abdel Aziz Rantisi, as he attended the funeral of Ismail Abu Shanab, a senior Hamas political leader killed this week in an Israeli airstrike which followed the devastating suicide bomb in Jerusalem on Tuesday 19 August.

The US put its foot down. On Friday, it froze the assets of six Hamas leaders and five organisations in Europe it says raise money for the radical Palestinian group.

“Hamas has reaffirmed that it is a terrorist organisation committed to violence against Israelis and to undermining progress toward peace between Israel and the Palestinian people,” President Bush said.

Dubya called on all nations to recognise Hamas as a terrorist group and to support the asset freezing – a tactic also used against al-Qaida.

The charities identified by the US were the Committee for Charity and Aid for the Palestinians, based in France; the Association for Palestinian Aid in Switzerland; the Palestinian Relief and Development Fund, or Interpal, based in Britain; the Palestinian Association in Austria; and the Lebanese-based Sanbil Association for Relief and Development.

“Hamas, you are the rocket, we are the bullets,” shouted one man at the Abu Shanab funeral, according to New York Times reports. A loudspeaker declared, “Our one constitution is the Koran. Jihad is our only road. The best ambition for us is to die as martyrs.”

In a separate article, the NYT said Europe “reacted tepidly” to Bush’s asset-freezing – and “That sets the stage for another trans-Atlantic rift over Middle East policy.”

The Austria government claimed it had already investigated the Palestinian Association in Austria and had found “no evidence of wrongdoing.”

French and European officials seemed less than enthusiastic to join Bush in severing the Palestinian ties. They demanded a time-consuming thorough review of the charities – which tend to be seen in Europe as humanitarian organisations.

Oh dear, not this again.

EU countries have agreed to work multilaterally when it comes to barring organisations. This is the kind of issue that builds a common European policy on the Middle East – one clearly not in tune with the policy of the US.

The charities themselves insist they have no link to Hamas. The NYT quotes Youcef Benderbal of the Committee for Welfare and Relief for Palestine: “I am amazed that the president of a country such as the United States would mix things up like he did”.

How very un-European of you, Mr. Benderbal.

Too many cooks

Those of you concerned about the state of US-Europe relations (for so long a staple of Diary content) can take heart from a story in the Financial Times.

It involves an exclusive international meeting at the Club des Chefs des Chefs in Paris. Membership of the Club des Chefs des Chefs is limited to those who cook for monarchs or heads of state – these guys can whip up a mean banquet.

According to the FT, “the cooks appeared to be enjoying far more harmonious relations than their bosses usually do.”

Well that’s a relief.

The notorious “Freedom fries” were definitely off the menu.

Said Walter Scheib, chef to George W. Bush, “It is great to be in Paris, and whether we like it or not, the French have clearly dominated the scene.”

The FT concludes that “a good meal could go a long way to heal political rifts.”

Joél Normand, chef at the Elysée palace since De Gaulle’s day, agreed. “What is on the plate makes a difference,” he said. “I have been told that some of my meals have helped get people to sign and reach deals.”

Ribs at Dubya’s place, anyone?

Trapping democracy

To Rwanda.

In the nation’s first post-genocide elections, President Paul Kagame won a whopping 95.05% of the vote.

Kagame will remain in office for the next seven years. Turnout is said to have been around 80%.

Kagame’s closest challenger was Faustin Twagiramungu, a former prime minister, who finished with 3.62% of votes.

This was the first election in Rwanda in which voters had been given a choice of candidates. This election, said the New York Times, “had all the trappings of democracy”.

Twagiramungu immediately rejected Kagame’s victory. “I do not accept this election,” he said. “That’s not democracy. They are trying to have a Stalinist style one-party system. Almost 100%? That’s not possible. I will write a letter to the Supreme Court.”

Opinions are split whether Kagame, a Tutsi, is a unifying candidate who won a significant amount of the Hutu vote (85% of the population is Hutu), or a man who has exploited fears of a return to ethnic conflict in order to advance his political acumen and silence his opponents. Twagiramungu, for the record, is an ethnic Hutu.

Twagiramungu argues that Katame intimidated the election and ensured that ethnicity could not be a factor, accusing anyone who mentioned it of “divisionism”. Twagiramungu called the election “Stalinist”, pointing to cancelled rallies, political arrests and seizing of campaign literature.

“It is a victory for all Rwandans,” said Kagame in his victory address in Kigali’s largest football stadium. (Click here to read the text of the speech).

Kagame was the rebel general whose army took power in 1994 and brought an end to the genocide. Reports suggest that all opposition in the election was stifled. Streets were lined with pictures of Kagame. Amnesty International accused the government of instilling a “climate of fear”.

With reconciliation on the agenda, Twagiramungu is getting ready for jail. He faces charges of running a “divisive” campaign.

Age-old laughs

Finally, it emerged this week that old people do have a sense of humour.

No, really.

Researchers in Canada have conducted studies. It turns out that oldies still have the ability to understand and appreciate jokes, so long as they’re not too tough on the ageing brain cells.

The results appeared in the Journal of the International Neuropsychological Society, inspiration to comics the world over.

The findings were made by Dr. Prathiba Shammi and colleagues at the Baycrest Centre for Geriatric Care in Toronto – the bunch responsible for locating the part of the brain that registers humour (the right frontal lobe).

If your right frontal lobe is not functioning ideally, then you’ll prefer Buster Keaton (slapstick) to Groucho Marx (sophisticated wordplay). If you’re young, you think Jackass is funny, and you can’t get enough American Pie movies.

Anyway, human guinea pigs were asked to identify humorous lines in amongst the kind of bland un-humorous lines that have filled this Diary.

See if you can tell the difference:

• Please have a fit upstairs (a sign in a tailor’s shop).
• The attacks come at a time of warmer Indo-Pakistan relations.

And again:

• Please take advantage of the chambermaid (sign in a hotel).
• The notorious “Freedom fries” were definitely off the menu.

Another test involved set-ups and punchlines. Oldies found these harder to appreciate, and when presented with a multiple choice of punchlines, often chose the unfunny one (although in one of the examples given by the BBC, so did the Diary).

Somewhat unsurprisingly, the research proved that those participants with poor memory and little abstract reasoning were pretty poor in the humour tests.

Dr. Shammi was relatively upbeat. “We still enjoy a good laugh when we get the joke,” he said.

Having a sense a humour, the doc says, “is integral to social interaction”. And that’s not all. Even better, “humour may enhance the quality of life, assist in stress management, and help us cope with the stresses of aging.”

Q. What is red that you can’t see? A. No tomatoes.

Feeling younger yet?

(Source: BBC Health Online)

(Also see news that Canada has banned smiling in passport photos)

Quotes of the week

“I think this meeting will be judged a success if the participants can agree on the need to have a second meeting.” Stephen Bosworth, former US ambassador to South Korea, on the six-nation talks on the North Korean crisis that kicked off on Wednesday 27 August in Beijing. (See last week’s Diary for more)

“Sometimes the exaggeration was so great, it was clear dishonesty. The government lied every time. It skewed, misrepresented, used selectively and fabricated the Iraq story.” Andrew Wilkie, a former intelligence analyst at Australia’s Office of National Assessments, speaking at a parliamentary inquiry into the Australian government’s case for aiding war in Iraq.

“This is the glory of Canada – we can be what we are and at the same time be part of the greater Canada.” Canadian prime minister Jean Chretien. The Canadian government this week signed a deal with the indigenous Tlicho Nation group that grants them territory the size of Switzerland.

“I was hoping they’d keep it going for a few more news cycles.” US satirist Al Franken on hearing that Fox News has dropped legal action against him for use of their slogan “fair and balanced” in the title of his book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.

“The Crucible probably and unfortunately is not going to be overwhelmed with irrelevance too soon.” American playwright Arthur Miller on the current state of his nation.

“We must make our hearts instruments of peace and non-violence because when the heart is right, the mind and body will follow.” Coretta Scott King, widow of Dr. Martin Luther King, speaking in Washington at the forty-year commemoration of MLK’s “I have a dream” speech.

“I went through everything I had to go through to be 100% convinced I’m done. And I have. I’m at peace. I’m going to watch my boy grow up, be a good husband, play a lot of golf.” The great Pete Sampras formally announcing his retirement from the game of tennis.

Contact the Diary editor: Dominic.Hilton@openDemocracy.net