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If I die at the hands of a man, I don’t want a vigil. I want a riot

I went to Ashling Murphy’s vigil this weekend. Every single woman’s murder, whether a teacher or a sex worker, at 3am or 3pm, is political

If I die at the hands of a man, I don’t want a vigil. I want a riot
Vigil for Ashling Murphy at the Guildhall in Derry, Northern Ireland, 14 January 2022 | Mickey Rooney / Alamy Stock Photo. All rights reserved
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I’m not going to another vigil. I don’t want to stand silently in the cold holding flowers. Every time another woman is murdered, I want to run into the street and release a primal scream of rage.

It is time for this era of vigils – kickstarted by Sarah Everard’s murder and reinforced by Sabina Nessa’s and Ashling Murphy’s – to end. These vigils-not-protests, the liberal love child of respectability politics and coronavirus regulations, have muted our collective anger. We travel on currents of heartbreak and anger to stand with our sisters outside in the cold, only to return home aching with impotent rage while the structures of power that are killing us remain undented.

Men kill women because our society builds men that kill women. If we have a hope of stopping more women dying, it’s not through vigils or criminal sanctions for killers. Even if a murderer gets a life sentence, the conditions that create killers are still in operation. It’s only a matter of time until the next murder.