It’s 2014 and I’m in a quiet bar with my then-girlfriend. We’re enjoying our evening, being affectionate towards each other, and playing pool. I’m pretty terrible at it (having virtually no hand-eye coordination), and an older man steps in, uninvited, to show me how to take a shot. He touches my waist and makes sexual comments to me, right in front of my ex-girlfriend, as though she isn’t there. To him, she is invisible, and not recognised as my partner. We both leave, feeling disgusted.
Homophobia and misogyny, just like racism and misogyny, are inextricably linked. They feed into each other, like the ancient image of ‘ouroboros’, a snake eating its own tail.
Women in same-sex relationships may not be treated with the same overt hostility as gay men, but this is usually only when they present themselves as femme (or traditionally feminine in appearance). For femme women in same-sex relationships, the blend of homophobia and misogyny they are subjected to is often based on men believing that the relationship exists for their sexual gratification.
