There are times in his life when a perfectly dependable chap is bound by his honour to abandon all reserve and say what he suspects people want to hear.
This, I dread, is one of those times.
Last week, as the US-sponsored Forum for the Future kicked off in Rabat, Morocco, 500 people were reported to have protested outside the Moroccan parliament, demanding an end to the prospect of democracy.
Now, call me a naïve bedlamite, but am I the only one to think it a smidgen bent that people demonstrate against democracy? What, I ask, are we supposed to make of men (and I do mean men) who gather in a dusty street to chant, Whatever you do, dont give us a say over our own lives! I implore you, we cant be trusted!
Should we heed their call and ditch our romantic dreams of a lava flow of democratic values scorching across the whole of mankind? Or should we throw rotten eggs at the cretins, pop open the sherry and unfold the imperial maps?
They might not sound it to the uneducated ear, but these are important questions. For the past few days, one inquiry has tormented my brain tissue as if a mosquito had flown in my earhole and signed up for tap classes. Is democracy scary? I kept asking myself. Is it nothing less ghoulish than the Nosferatu of political concepts? And if so, should autocracies align with theocracies and seek to corner the garlic market?
Admittedly, at first glance, the question Is democracy scary? appears somewhat undemanding. As anyone who has tried to use the Single Transferable Vote electoral system will testify at its worst, democracy can be downright terrifying.
And I certainly got a chill down my spine when I watched Iranian President Mohammad Khatami tell a group of gutsy rebel students last week, This is against the rules of democracy. What are you doing? How many people are booing? Dont make me have you removed.
The fact is democracy scares the crap out of some people. Either they dont understand it (if you disagree with me, Ill have you removed) or they do understand the threat it poses and will do anything to resist it. To read on the BBC that the Forum for the Future (which promotes democratisation, respect for human rights, strengthening of independent judiciaries, and promotion of the rights of women) was scaled down after an outcry from Arab critics, who accused Washington of interference, tells you all you need to know. Morocco, the host country, opposed the event.
We are not against democracy and reforms, but we are against imposed ideas, explained General Saad El Othmani, secretary-general of Moroccos Justice and Development Party.
Oh, OK.
The righteous defiance of the self-interested is always a sight to behold. And this, of course, applies to all sides. When hes not evoking Gods will, President Bush sells his neo-conservative democratisation of the middle east as the best way to protect America and its interests the Volvo of US foreign policy. His opponents agree with him, though oppose his democratisation. Many of the hundreds of protestors who this week chanted for an end to President Hosni Mubaraks reign in Egypt are pitching for an Islamic state (One man, one vote, one time). The New York Times reported this week how The Pentagon is engaged in bitter, high-level debate over how far it can and should go in managing or manipulating information to influence opinion abroad.
Petrifying, aint it?
There are three main groupings at the core of all political activity: the masses, the elite, and the manure-for-brains. The masses are simple: they want democracy. The elites are also simple: they dont want democracy but pretend to want it. The manure-for-brains are bonkers: they want democracy so as to end it.
Last month, John Vinocur wrote in the International Herald Tribune of the sense of rage and disenfranchisement that the internationalist wing of the American liberal establishment was experiencing at the prospect of [John] Kerrys defeat The idea of four more years of Bush after the last four spent in the wilderness literally wipes out the careers or career plans of many who hoped to be ambassadors, advisers, consultants in the academic world or first assistant thises or thats in a Kerry administration.
Never underestimate the importance of the job. The problem with democracy is that it threatens the job security of those who enjoy the trappings of office. This is why autocrats say their people are not ready for democracy. It is also one of the reasons why so many people hate the presidency of George W Bush.
Bushs election and re-election have rocked the status quo. The trouble this man has caused! Self-important suits at the UN, immaculately-tailored Gobemouches of the transatlantic set, tin-pot dictators in the middle east all have had their lavish lifestyles and power-intoxicated egos threatened by the post-9/11 order.
So, before you next listen to someone tell you how This is the most crucial moment in the history of mankind (etc.). Nothing less than the future of life on this planet is at stake, remember to check out their expenses claims or the signatures on their banquet invitations.
You might just find that threats to mankind are little more than a threat to a few kind-of-slimy men.
