Once upon a time, before I somehow managed to claw my way into a career in the arts that sometimes looks quite respectable, I was a drug-addicted petty criminal.
Looking back now to the times I spent standing in front of the magistrates court, I sometimes fantasise about using language similar to that recently deployed by the UK government seeking to justify its own errant behaviour.
But unlike those omitted in Sue Gray’s report, the transgressions I’ve made have never been – and will never be – redacted. The prosecutors never overlooked my petty theft crimes. Surely, as Michael Gove said of partygate at the weekend, I just need some “Christian forgiveness”?
