The school was really supportive. At the start, some parents and school governors did push back, but the headteacher dealt with it and didn’t involve us very much. Whenever there was pushback from other kids, they were spoken to straight away.
When it came time to choose a secondary school, we were lucky that our older daughter, who is cis, was already attending a school with a strong, supportive LGBTQ+ lead. He had advocated for LGBTQ+ rights at NHS conferences and won awards for an LGBTQ+ club that he runs. I emailed him before Jo started at the school, to ask what trans-inclusion measures were in place, and she began in year 7 just like any other new pupil.
Jo’s secondary school includes LGBTQ+ education in the curriculum and facilitates access to toilets, changing facilities and sports teams that match each child’s gender, so there is no problem at all with her getting on with her education. Quite a few children know about her trans status, though she doesn’t go to the LGBTQ+ group because she doesn't want to ‘stand out’ or be outed.
Kids can be bullies and, since starting secondary school, Jo has had some challenges. Fortunately, her head of year has LGBTQ+ and trans-positive posters in her office, so that pupils know she is supportive and a safe person to confide in. Whenever Jo experiences bullying because of her trans status, she knows that teachers will intervene. It’s taken very seriously and bullies are spoken to swiftly.
As an affirming parent, I haven’t experienced direct pushback from other secondary school parents. I think that’s because they know the school is supportive of LGBTQ+ identities. I’ve heard parents’ homophobic and transphobic comments via their children, however, and it does make me fearful for my daughter's safety and for children who would like to be themselves but don't feel accepted by their families.
When a ‘concerned’ parent approached the school’s headteacher to say she wasn’t happy with her daughter having to share a toilet with my child, the headteacher said: “That’s no problem – we’re happy to find alternative toilet arrangements for your daughter.” A few weeks later, that same parent confided to me that she was the one who had raised concerns, but that she’d had a change of heart and was going to try to be more understanding. This meant a lot to me and my child.
It's really scary to think that there are teachers and parents out there hearing Suella Braverman’s anti-trans comments, and seeing the scaremongering and unfounded fears around trans-inclusion practices. Every day the public are confronted by articles that proactively skew the facts around every aspect of trans people’s lives.
We have a government that is actively trying to roll back basic rights and reinterpret the Equality Act to exclude protections for trans and non-binary people. A small number of obsessed anti-trans organisations are trying to infiltrate the social and political spheres, and they are backed by some pretty powerful people, both economically and culturally.
I’m fearful but I’m also hopeful because I know that most people, if educated, will understand what it means to be trans and will accept my daughter for who she is. Jo’s school has trans-inclusive policies in place and is seeing first-hand how important it is to support trans children with an affirming approach. I am confident people will understand Braverman’s speech to be ridiculous. However, I have friends who have trans children in unsupportive schools, and those are the kids I am worried about.
Schools most certainly don’t have a duty to out trans students to their families, as Braverman suggested in her speech. The only reason a child would be keeping it quiet and confiding in a teacher would be if they didn’t feel able to tell their parents. Parents don’t have ‘a right to know’. School should be a safe space for all children.